Mom, in one of your dearelders to me you said about my experience here at the MTC that "He is breaking you down to rebuild your faith and trust in Him, so that you trust yourself. You see, He knows what you can do, but you need to know what you can do and you need to really learn what it is to depend on the Lord." I've thought about that a lot since and thought alot about how I need to completely align my will with the Lord's. It is definitely a hard thing to do though. One of my companions, Sister Schwab found a scripture in 1 Corinthians 3:9 that kind of hit me, "For we are labourers together with God: ye are God's husbandry, ye are God's building." Ye are God's building? What's that about? Well I found a quote in a conference talk by C.S. Lewis that I think helps me at least understand this idea:
"Imagine yourself a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that these jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of- throwing out a new wing here, putting up an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace..." C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Sometimes I really wonder what on earth the Lord is doing/thinking because I just am not understanding what He has planned. But when I remember that the Lord's ways are higher than mine and He really does have a plan for me, it makes it easier for me to have faith even though I can't see the blueprints. I am really glad that I have the Lord in my life and that through all these experiences I am able to see his hand at work. not just with me, but with those around me as well.
Just a few more weeks til I'm going!!! Can you believe it?! Time here has just flown by for me!!! AHHH!!! :)
I have gotten letters from my friend Ian so that's nice. I've also seen some friends here I met at EFY or know from BYU and I've gotten letters from Grandma Catletts, one of my roommates (Kendra), and one of my EFY roommates (Kayla) in the last couple of weeks. It's nice that they think of me :) I love everyone here and back home and at school and everywhere and am so excited to meet more people to love. It's a nice feeling, love is. Oh, and let Sister Catlett know I appreciate her wave at the MTC, haha that's cute :)