Thanks for the pictures Melissa. You
were right. They did put a smile on my face. I'm doing ok right now. I was so
confused yesterday when the Robinsons called to say they were coming over. This
last Thursday (Valentines Day) we had exchanges and Friday (the 15th) when we
exchanged back the Robinson's had arranged for us all to have lunch together.
As I walked into the train station to meet up with everyone I found myself in a
hug with Zuster Robinson where she shakily told me I've been on her mind the
past few days in a worrisome way. She was really concerned. I was really
confused. When they called yesterday I was like uh...apparently this concern is
really deep. But I figured it must have something to do with transfers or
something. I was wrong.
When they first told me they told me
I'd had a death in the family my first thought was Daddy, I knew he'd been
away. But that didn't feel so. Then I thought someone else from our immediate
family, but that didn't feel so either. They told me it was my favorite uncle,
but at that point they didn't have his name. I knew.
I knew before I came that someone was
going to die. I've known it for a long time before I came, before I put in my
papers. It was scary to leave because I didn't know who I was saying goodbye to
for the last time. But, I knew it was what the Lord needed me to do.
I searched the scriptures and gospel
library for answers after praying, but didn't find much that really satisfied
me. So I told Heavenly Father that I would go out and talk with every person in
my path and let them know that there is hope in this life and the life
hereafter if He would send someone to Adam. And then I did just that.
No one was really interested, but I
knew that someone needed me. Then I met Simon. He's this kid, well 27-yr-old,
from Lithuania (maybe Latvia...) who was looking for a printer to print his
boarding pass to London for Monday morning. Because it was Sunday no place was
open. Knowing we had one at the church I wrote the address down for him, gave
him directions, got his number, and then booked it to our dinner appointment to
see if one of the women could come with us to the church. Barbara, one of our
investigators, came along even though she'd just put curlers in. And thus began
our 3-hr printer avontuur.
Turns out, the computer at the church
needed a password we didn't know nor the bishop. So then Barbara thought of a
place that might be open so Simon rode Zr. Raun's bike and I rode achter op
with first Zr. Raun and then Barbara as we rode from one place to another
searching for a printer. We ended up at a member's house where we met succes!
During this whole adventure we'd gotten to know Simon a bit and I'd say we're
all friends now. After we dropped Simon off at the bridge that'd take him back,
we offered him a Book of Mormon. He politely declined but did accept an
invitation to church when he returns. Cool.
Helping Simon was pretty healing for
me/distracting. The funny thing is that Saturday night during planning we
couldn't figure out what to do Sunday evening after our dinner appointment. No
inspiration or names would come to mind. The Lord had it planned for us all
along. I have a firm testimony he's involved in the details of our lives. Want
further evidence of His love and involvement? Yesterday our ward mission leader
wasn't at church, sick. I had a feeling before going to church that he wouldn't
be there and I'd need to teach the Gospel Principles class so I'd been
pondering what to teach. One of our investigators hasn't heard the Plan of
Salvation all the way through yet, so we devoted our class time to that. The
only thing is, she went to the young adults class for sunday school. So here I
am giving a lesson prepared for someone who wasn't even present. Little did I
know it was really a lesson the Lord had prepared for me.
After we got home last night, Zuster
Robinson called me with more details, confirming it was Adam. That broke me. I
sobbed on my bed for a while before going into the bathroom to pray. I thought
on that church movie, The Testaments, where the dad prays for the Atonement to
find it's way to his son because he doesn't know where he is and I said a
similiar prayer for Adam. I also thought a lot of how Alma describes his
repentance experience to his son Helaman in Alma 36 where he says he was in a
gall of bitterness and as he remembered Christ and when he repented he felt
exceeding joy. I keep praying for that for Adam too.
One of the girls we live with come up
to check on me. Seeing as I was balling on the bathroom floor I was obviously
not doing well. Sweet Madeleine gave me a hug and shared with me the coolest
thing. She told me that when she was at the MTC they were told to always take
the lessons they teach super seriously, even if it was just a role-play with
your teachers or a member in a practice room who were pretending to be
investigators. Their reasoning? The spirit world is among us and as members and
your teachers ask questions inspired by the spirit they could really be voicing
a question of those who aren't able to to. As missionaries answer by the
spirit, we can answer the questions of their soul. Madeleine encouraged me to
think on Adam while I was teaching, contacting, etc. saying that maybe I could
really be helping him or at least some other lost and miserable soul. I like
that idea. She also said that other family members who've passed on can find
him and provided comfort too. I don't really know the details of how the Spirit
World works, but I was comforted by what she said. Whether or not I help
provide him with answers and comfort or someone else though, I just really hope
he finds it.
I hope you all are doing well too.
I've been praying for it. I am sad I'm not with you, but grateful for the
perspective I've learned out here. I love you all and am grateful we're an
eternal family. Please stay worthy so we can stay that way.